Tania Kettle

Don't worry I'll fix it...

I'll sort it...

There's been a mix up with the bank...

They've been paid, it's a mistake...

I'll call them tomorrow...

I don't know about you, but I've heard those phrases, or ones like it, many, many times in the past.

In fact, more times, than moi, as an attractive, intelligent woman, should have heard them.

But that's the funny thing with addictions, or more to the point, being in a relationship with a man with an addiction, you don't get it at first.

Or even the hundredth time.

Actually, it is a long, slow, boringly painful, process.

I know for me when I eventually found out, which I might add was 42 days before our wedding, I couldn't get my head around it.

This man that I had lived, and loved, and had so much fun with, was saying that no, all the people who were ringing me to pay them for the wedding, well, they weren't wrong.

But...but...but...I had been to the casino with him multiple times, and if anyone would have had the Witchy Stick Finger pointed at them, well, it would have been me.

He never looked like a gambler, and never acted like one.

Until you came to the time where he said he was paying all the bills, and he was in fact, wasn't.

And still I refused to let this great love affair die.

Although, thank the Spirits that be, that at the precise time I found out, I took one solitary moment and went, If a client came to me with this exact problem, what would I say to her?

And for once, I took my own advice.

Stop.  The.  Damn.  Wedding.

I have to say I didn't take my other advice, and limped along in the relationship for another two years, until it died a sad, lonely, pathetic death, when not even the Kiss-of-Life from the Divine Goddess herself would have brought that ugly old wart-hog back to life.

But eventually I came out ok.

I didn't stay broken.

I don't look at it now as the Great Love of My Life.

I also thank Spirit every day that I live the life I live, and love the people around me in a way that nourishes my Soul, and nurtures theirs, but most importantly,

...I'm so grateful that I eventually had the courage to walk away and go, This is not my problem, and these are not my choices.

Kissy hugs

T (she/her) and Spirit

xx

* I acknowledge the Traditional Owners of the land where I work and live, and pay my respects to Elders, past and present.

** Having pronouns in an email signature signals you as an LGBTQIA and/or ally (a person who is not LGBT, but who actively supports the LGBT community)

LGBTQIA – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and/or Questioning, Intersex (a person born with a combination of male and female biological traits) and Asexual (little or no sexual attraction to others)